We often hear the first 3 years of a child’s life are the most important. So for the first 3 years with our children, we play the right games, buy the right toys and read the right books.
But recent studies prove that 6 months into a pregnancy, the fetus is already aware, reacting and emotionally active. At 6 months, the unborn child can see, hear, experience, taste, feel and even learn.
So a child’s physical and emotional health is being shaped before it’s even born. And part of that shaping is determined by how the parents – especially the mother – feel about life and each other.
Creating a child’s personality
On some level, what the pregnant mother feels emotionally is transferred directly to her unborn child. Because of this, constant negative emotions can have a damaging affect on the fetus.
The fetus absorbs negative emotions like anger, stress or frustration. Feelings most adults experience throughout their stressful days. However, the most harm is done when a mother doesn’t want the child. These and other negative emotions shape the baby’s personality.
Then there’s the father…
Throughout the pregnancy, the fetus is also affected by the father’s feelings toward the mother and their child. That’s because the fetus can absorb its parents’ emotional energy. This energy helps create how the child will see itself in its life ahead. For example, it will feel happy or sad, be aggressive or meek, secure or insecure.
And some studies show parents begin affecting their child’s personality soon after conception.
What messages do you send your baby?
Research shows soon after conception, a level of consciousness exists in the embryo. As the fetus develops, its subconscious stores information to prepare it for its mother’s environment. But, the father’s role in relation to the mother is also important.
By the sixth month, the fetus can hear and move in rhythm to its mother’s voice. Imagine the different influence this has if the mother is happily singing or yelling in anger.
It’s no surprise that sonograms taken while parents yell at each other show the baby’s entire body flinching in agitation. Imagine the damage caused by months of feeding this negative energy to a fetus. Frightening, isn’t it? In fact, studies show a bad relationship between parents increases the child’s risk of psychological and physical damage by a startling 200% or more!
How your subconscious thoughts affect your fetus
Another powerful way parents affect their fetus is through their beliefs. I’ll explain.
Your life is a reflection of your beliefs. These beliefs come from a lifetime of experiences and interactions with other people. Most of these beliefs are subconscious. And they quietly “program” your mind to react to your world. If these beliefs are negative, it programs our minds to be self-defeating. We see it everyday in people who say, “I can’t___”, “I’m not good enough to ___, “I have am so unlucky ___” and so on.
As expectant parents, the negative programming usually comes out in fear:
- …“Am I going to make the same mistakes my parents made?”
- …“Will my baby be healthy and deliver naturally?”
- …“Can I adequately provide for my child?”
Single mothers often have additional negative emotions like:
- …“Will I be enough not having a father around?”
- …“Can I really raise my child alone?”
During the pregnancy, parents who dwell on negative thoughts send these feelings to the fetus. In turn, this programs fear into the child before it even enters the world.
It is extremely important for both mother and father to understand their emotions and deal with them in an effective manner. Continued stress for the mother takes its toll on her unborn child. Whether the mother’s thoughts and emotions are positive and reinforcing or negative and rejecting they are helping to define and shape the child’s character.
Supporting your desire for a healthy child
No matter what the situation, any parent can give their child a strong, healthy start. It begins with their choices made during the pregnancy.
The physical and emotional health of a fetus is shaped by the parents’ environment and their emotional well-being. That’s why it’s vital to feed loving, positive energy to the fetus throughout the pregnancy. Doing so helps ensure a happy, healthy, confident child.
If you’d like to learn more about a child’s emotional development in utero, I recommend
“The Secret Life of the Unborn Child” by Thomas Verny, M.D.